is it the end?

The break is over. The reason i didn't decide early because i dont want to leave him alone. Actually, i want to be with him when he feel stressfull about the job in Connecticut. But now he has his own family and his life. He is lonely no more. That is also the time i should let him go if nothing change during the break. I did complete the promise i made during the time i hang out with him. " I will not leave u when you have difficulty or face any problem"
He said thar he want to be more stable and sure about his life to accept me again. I repsected his decision and I keep going on my own way. Actually, he teached me a lesson after this relationship: dont be so sure about anything. I assume if he really loves me, he will do everything to be with me. He will come back to me after he achieve everything he wants. But if he never comes back, i shouldnt feel so bad because it is just the same as many relationships during my life. It comes and leaves very easily.
Let time decides everything because time has its own power. It makes people forget the pain in love , and it also prove the true love. True love will come back and because something belongs to you it will come back to you

Why everybody said that i am a strong girl

Evrybody said that i am a strong girl. I know that i am just a normal girl. I still feel lonely and sad sometime. Just because i dont show in front of them, it doenst mean that i am strong. You know i still need a person who always beside and love me and take care of me. I still need the shoulder so that i can cry on. I choose you because in front of you, i become myself alittle bit selfish, naughty and crazy. I dont have to act infront of you which make me feel comfortable. Why u dont understand that. U always think that u make me weak. Nobody can change me if i dont want. I just want to be a normal girl in front of the guy i like. Is it impossible?
I am tired of explaining stuff to you. My feeling is fading eventually. DO you really want me change in to a strong girl without any feeling. Do you think that is good for me?

What would we do if u were here?

Today i am thinking about what would we do if you are still in college. Maybe you would be the person who pick me up in the airport and we would give each other a tight hug. You and Ryan would help me move in. And we would have dinner in the coach's house.Instead sitting with Ryan in the park, i would sit with you and tell you what i did during summer and how much i missed you. And ofcourse we would go to the bookstore together or a gas station to get a drink. Reading all of that, you can realize that how much i think about u?
Without u, the Ihouse has no interest. I go to get the chair with no feeling. In that room, you and i often hanged out. In that kitchen, you often cooked dumpling for me.
Today, Ryan told me that Gayche did like me long time ago before I knew and Gayche made a plan for my birthday.I really feel touched. Ryan said that it doesnt work for you and me but you didnt care at that time. You came to me by the natural love. It doesnt have so many thinkings and consideration like right now. They said that if you consider too much, that is not love anymore. Yeah maybe it's right. I dont see that love in you anymore.That love is the only reason keep me near you.

I lost 2 important people

While the cellphone saw our relationship growing, this blogger is an evidence for our eventual breakup. After many arguments, we took a break.No more loving sentences, no more sweet messages... Today, i can feel that we talked on the phone as 2 strangers. Honestly,I could talk to some friends in collgege more friendly than to you. Why? Is it because we did love before. I didnt call you because i dont want bother your time spending with your family. In addition, i dont want to hang up because of the incovenient reason for you. Although i didnt call, i still know everything which is going on for you such as where you stay, when you reach LA, and who will pick u up. But you are so inconsiderate that you dont know when i leave and what i did in these days. I dont know how to express my sadness. But too bad you are not my Gayche before anymore so it cant change. Like you said, if you did like that, you will miss out. I am still the same person. Because i cant change so fast and i dont want to change. I am sad because i lost not only my honey but my caring friend.

who i call to

Today, i had argument with my mom. It made me cry. Normally, i will call u to tell u everything. But i cant do today because everything is not the same as before. I figure out i have nobody to call when i am sad. I have noone who is willing to share with me my own stuff. It seems so tough. I realize that since today everytime i cry i have to say to myself that it will be fine. I dont want to bother u anymore because u are not my boyfriend already. You have ur own life and i have my own life. Anyway, when i need someone but i dont call you, i know that i lost you already and my mind has accepted that idea.

Lonely

Today suddently i feel lonely. Lookinh around, history seems to happen again. During August, i aways have no boyfriend and look back the past with all the sweet memories. Yeah i did it this year again. Just luckily August doenst have holiday maybe God loves me so he never wants me to spend time alone in any holiday. Looking back at myself, i know that i am not ugly or stupid. Otherwise, i am ok and smart. Morethan that, i think i know how to attract people by my social skill. So why i am alone right now. Did i drive so many boys out of market? Or am i so picky? I just want a true love form a guy. Is it so hard?
In these days, i know that some boys flirting me but i have no feeling to them. I realixe that i am afraid of falling in love and being hurt. Or maybe i dont trust the true love anymore. Anyway i am not ready for a new relationship. I think i will be single for a while. I know that i become Maggie who live for people again like last year. Just being with Gayche, at that time i live for myself.
Yeah, i am still young. I have a plenty of time to choose the right guy for me. The guy will be willing to go with me the rest of my life. I am not alone because i still have alot of friends who are nice to me.

destiny

The summer is almost over. It is so fast. Honestly, this is not my happy summer because many things have gone on the wrong way. Imagine if i come back to VIETNAM, what my summer would become? Would are we in the break? It cant be answered because everything has to happen as its destiny.
I still dont understand why everytime i said i miss you, you often said i will forget u. Although we all know the truth: if we are still in the break for a long time, we will foget each other, we shouldnt say that so obviously you know. Because it sounds hurt. I woder 1 year we spent with each other, we try to build our relationship for what. Everything seems to be wasteless now because it cant keep us near to each other